This Day, Fix My Eyes On You

"How can I repay the Lord for all His acts of kindness to me?
I will celebrate my deliverance, and call on the name of the Lord. "
(Psalm 116: 12-13)

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul."
(Psalm 143:8)

"My eyes are fixed on you, Lord.
In You I take refuge."
(Psalm 141:8)

"A wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands a foolish one tears hers down."
(Proverbs 14:1)

"A generous man will prosper;
he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."
(Proverbs 11:25)

We honor & praise you for the deliverance and freedom you have given us. You have provided, protected, & poured out your own blood to give us life in you. You have been faithful, even through all the times we are faithless. You have broken the chains that once bound us and have given us peace & hope. Let us not forget your extravagant kindness & faithfulness. Lord this morning fill us with your love. We choose to place our trust in you instead of relying on ourselves or being swayed by our emotions. Let my hope be in you- For you alone are worthy. In decisions we are facing, we ask for your direction. As Psalm declares we ask that you would show us the way we should go- Give us clear direction, wisdom & discernment as we seek you. Lord our eyes are fixed on you & because of that we will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

Pictures from the Retreat:


Click on the picture above to see the retreat photo album.
Thank you Courtney!!!!!

Psalm 91

¹ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

² I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare (enemy's traps)
and from the deadly pestilence.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

¹⁰ then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

¹³ You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

¹⁵ He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

¹⁶ With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Lord let me dwell in the shelter of the Most High today. Let me rest in the shadow of the Almighty God. When fear, discouragement, insecurity, temptations, pain...come my way, let my first impulse be to turn to you. Let my hope and trust be in you. For you alone can save me from the enemy's temptations and lies. You alone are worthy of my hope and trust. Command your angels concerning my family to guard us in all of our ways today. I praise You that you love me and that when I call upon you, you will answer me. Truly are you my deliverance and my honor. Satisfy me today in your presence.

Waking Life

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;

I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26

A chance to start new. Fresh. To have a clean slate. This is what makes New Years such a joyous occasion. It provides a fresh start and the hope of newness for the upcoming year. Spring offers the same hope as bulbs bloom and life awakens again.

The beautiful thing though is that we don't have to wait until New Years to have a fresh start. Christ offers to give us a new heart and replace our heart of stone on any occasion. Lamentations 3:23 says "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

The forgiveness, compassion, grace, love and mercy of our God never runs dry. We can trust that at any time we sense a hardening of our hearts, a staleness in our relationship with Christ.... my goodness, even a complete deadness in our relationship with Him, that He is more than willing to take what is dead and bring life. That is what He is in the business of... Bringing life to that which was dead.

That is in essence the reason for this website: Waking Eve. The name of the first woman, Eve, means "LIFE". I am partial to thinking this is because when God created woman, LIFE exploded. We brought some color to the table. We brought some bounce to Adam's step. Amazing isn't it that after all the earth was created, all the beauty of nature, all the wonder that God sculpted with His very hands, all of the unique and magnificent animals that were created, and even the wonder of the first man that God formed and breathed His very life into.... After all of this when God took Adam's rib, formed woman and breathed into her, He decided her name would be "life". Life awakened. Adam took a second glance. (And a third I'm sure!)

But then after perfect intimacy and relationship with one another & with God in the garden, sin entered the scene. I believe that the first lie that man & woman bought into, is the same lie we are being ensnared by today. It is in essence that they need not depend on God for life. As Jeff VanVonderen says in his book Families Where Grace Is In Place, the lie was that "Control was better than dependence". The sad thing is that even as believers in Christ, as children who have walked with God most of our lives, we are believing this lie. And it is sucking the life out of us. It is rendering us ineffective in ministry. It is making us no different than the rest of the world.... because we are still trying to run the program. We are attempting to do it on our own. We are stopping to be refueled at the table of the world, instead of going to the VERY SOURCE of life, the very source of peace, the source of wisdom and love and all blessings.

C.S. Lewis in his brilliant book Mere Christianity wrote on this very thing:

"That was the very fall of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. What Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they could 'be like gods'. That they could set up on their own as if they had created themselves, be their own masters- invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history. Money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slaves- the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.

The reason why it can never succeed is this. God made us: Invented us as a man invents an engine. A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Him. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about Him. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."

Oh Lord we desire to be awakened. We desire to experience the fullness of life, joy, peace, blessing, love, purpose... that we were designed for. We settle for so much less. Awaken our hearts and refresh our spirits. Where we are turning to other things for life, for purpose, for hope- let your Holy Spirit shed light on that. Give us the wisdom to see where/when we attempt to run on our own fuel. And in the powerful name of Jesus, we ask you help us break this self-reliance... the very lie and curse that began in the garden. Be our source of life. Refuel our empty tanks. Refresh our weary spirits. You are fullness of Life & fullness of Joy. You are the very thing our hungry hearts are longing for. Awaken our hearts to more of you.

Further Still

There is a phrase resounding in the deepest corners of my heart...beckoning me to come "further still". I have never been satisfied with my complacency. There are seasons that I find myself growing stagnant with the Lord, doing my normal quiet time with Him and even enjoying worship, but yet there is still a nagging ache in my heart for more. An ache to come "further still".

Today as I was thinking and dialoguing with the Lord about this, He had me pick up a book from off the shelf. You know when He's whispering in your spirit for you to do something, and although for the life of you you cannot figure out why, still you press on to heed that voice. And so up on the top of our entertainment center I reached to grab a book that sits among others for decor. It's a book I haven't touched since college and I didn't even remember the name until it was in my hands: Further Still. It is a compilation of poems and writings by one of my favorite authors Beth Moore.

One of the things that consistently blows my mind is the dailiness of God. He is always about His glory, and so when His children listen, we can be sure He's going to show up & speak a fresh word to us. Today was no different. As I curiously picked up the book to see what in the world God had for me, I didn't have to get through page 3 to figure it out. I wanted to share this with you as this is my hearts desire for this new year:

"Life can be almost unbearable at times, can't it? The one and only thing that has gotten me through my hardest times has been turning them into invitations to go further still with God. With few exceptions, the writings in this volume that will seem the deepest were drawn from the well of pain. Sometimes our "further stills" come from the excruciating diving push to move from any hint of complacency into the brisk current of the river of God. I write this introduction to you on the second day of the new year. I just told God this morning that I want to keep going further with Him. I never want to grow stagnant or satisfied with my current knowledge of Christ."

And this is the first writing of the book:
Further Still

"In that lonely place no friend can go
No brother can help, no loved one can know

I must crawl on while you stay
Further still, just watch and pray

In that lonely place the cup is fought
To sip the pain or choose my lot

To claim my rights or cast them down
To gain my loss or scorn my crown

Life pivots there in Further still
Face to the ground fighting His will

Can't choose to return the same who went
Once further still, The old is spent

So remember me and stay close by
I'll need you soon right by my side

And pray me back Til He has won
And throat is parched from "Yours be done!"

(Based on a passage from Matthew 26: 36-39)

Nisi Dominus Frusta

"Without the Lord, frustration".
A simple Latin phrase coined from Psalm 127:1-2

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for he grants sleep to those he loves."

There is nothing more frustrating than feeling our work in useless. Each of us desperately desires to know that the work we "rise early and stay up late" for has a purpose. As an employee we need to know that the hours we put into our jobs is accomplishing something. As a student, we need to know that the hours we pour into studying will pay off. As a mother I need to know the blood, sweat and tears of motherhood is not empty.

While few things seem precious and sacred in our world these days, our time is still a commodity few want to squander. How disparaging to look back over our lives and see that all we poured ourselves into was meaningless....a chasing after the wind. Yet God's Word tells us that unless His hand is on the work we set about doing, we are spinning our wheels. John 15 is also clear in it's profession that we will have fruitful lives only when we remain in Him.

As Dave & I raise our children, are we doing it in our own strength? Even the best of intentions will be much work all in vain. As we raise our children are we inviting the Lord to daily give us wisdom into the building of this home? Are we spending time with Him to receive the direction we need to guide this family as He desires? Even on a daily basis I can see this truth lived out: When I start my day with the Lord and reshift my focus from myself to Him, and then live the day with Christ in the mix ("Lord what do you want us doing today? How do you want us spending our time, finances...? How can I creatively get your Word into my babies hearts?) there is much clarity, insight and direction.

Babel is the perfect example of this from the Old Testament. Genesis 11 says the people of the city set out to build a city and tower "so that we can make a name for ourselves". And what was the result? The same thing that results in our families when our focus in not on the Lord & living for His great glory: there is chaos and confusion.

"Without the Lord, frustration". Lord remind me of this when I set about my day on my own agenda. Apart from you it is all empty.