So dry & longing to hear Your voice
To feel Your presence
To make the choice
And push aside the things to do
Quiet heart, and hear from You
May not seem huge like some sins are
But hurry & bustle keep my heart so far
Far from what's central
Far from what's true
Keeps me searching and longing
For all but You
Settle my heart now
Wandering though it be
Till face set like flint
I'm content in only Thee.
-Writings from a wandering heart
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The Gratitude Journal
Beginning this week... A gratitude journal. A way to open our eyes and begin looking. We began early morning at Starbucks- and hope in anticipation to begin looking, seeking out Your hand.
"Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?" Psalm 88:12
How very easy it can become to live in the land of oblivion. Going about daily activities, mind consumed with the tasks at hand... And all the while missing the many blessings of your hand.
I love the way Ann Voskamp words this:
"I am seeing things I have never seen before, atuned and aware of this constant, endless stream of gifts from His hand. I am one waking from slumber....from the stupor of indifference and ignorance. I have sight, fresh and keen---the world is new and full of His gifts.Too often I miss Him, oblivious, blind. I don't see all the good things that He is giving me, gracing me with, brushing my life with. True, He is everywhere, always. But maybe, before The Gift List, I thought of Him as further off, not so close. When I started to see all the things that I love bestowed upon me, I started to see Him as near, present, everywhere, showering me with good things."
May we began to pray for an awareness, a spirit that is sensitive & eyes that are wide open to your many graces. Your word tells us that you are near when the praises & thanks of your people are on our tongues:
"We give thanks to you, O God. We give thanks, For your Name is near." Ps. 75:1
"Let the peace of Christ rule in my your heart... And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly...as you sing psalms, hymns & spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3: 15-16
Grab a journal and begin jotting. Here is a glimpse of my first page... The first page of many:
1. Best friends racing on bike endlessly down the driveway
2. The sound of laughter as boys wrestle
3. Life growing within me
4. Quietness in Your presence- sweet refreshing stillness
5. A warm breakfast brought in by my man
6. A jog in the cool autumn air
7. Brother park
8. Pillow mountain
9. Morning hugs
Friday, October 2, 2009
Refining
The raw peeling back of hard places in my heart. The unearthing of soil I would prefer sit untouched.
And then comes His Spirit... turning up hard places, hurts, frustrations, fears... I would rather leave well alone. But praise God He won't just let me be. It must be faced. It must be prayed through. And much must be removed.
As we read the Relationship Principles of Jesus at church, it is a touchy subject. One I would rather leave well alone.
And as I poured my heart out to the Lord asking Him "Why do I have to go through this? Why do I have to face these hurts & the junk within my heart?" He spoke so tenderly..."Would you rather I left you here?" "No sir!" "Well then press on with me".
So press on I shall. He is unearthing some tender places. But You are the safest One to tear through it with.
He designed us for relationships... Yes for connection & intimacy. But I'm starting to see also for refining. Lord help me to not shrink back from the work you want to do. Continue unearthing all the junk that must be removed, all the fears that I must be set free of, all the hurts I must lay down at your feet... Let there be no callous places within my heart. No matter how painful this journey.
And then comes His Spirit... turning up hard places, hurts, frustrations, fears... I would rather leave well alone. But praise God He won't just let me be. It must be faced. It must be prayed through. And much must be removed.
As we read the Relationship Principles of Jesus at church, it is a touchy subject. One I would rather leave well alone.
And as I poured my heart out to the Lord asking Him "Why do I have to go through this? Why do I have to face these hurts & the junk within my heart?" He spoke so tenderly..."Would you rather I left you here?" "No sir!" "Well then press on with me".
So press on I shall. He is unearthing some tender places. But You are the safest One to tear through it with.
He designed us for relationships... Yes for connection & intimacy. But I'm starting to see also for refining. Lord help me to not shrink back from the work you want to do. Continue unearthing all the junk that must be removed, all the fears that I must be set free of, all the hurts I must lay down at your feet... Let there be no callous places within my heart. No matter how painful this journey.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
"Enough"
As I was recently thinking through the grace God has given, starting in the Garden... and running through the course of time... and all throughout my own life... He reminded me of how many times He could have ended the story. He could have given up on man in the Garden as two sinful people chose independence over trusting God. All throughout the Bible we see how even the chosen people of God rejected Him time & again.... Yet His faithfulness continued. And personally it amazes me the grace He has given, despite my ungratefulness and wandering heart. But yet, praise God, ending the story & giving up on us would not have been "Enough" for our God. He has given so far beyond. He has given more than "Enough".
This is a poem God spoke to me as I was journaling these thoughts. On the faithfulness & grace of an awesome God....
It would have been enough to let us go our way
To shake your holy hands in sorrow & dismay
“I had so much in store for you,
Such blessings yet to unfold.
But now that you have chosen sin
My blessings I’ll withhold.”
It would have been enough
To leave us wandering on our own
But instead Undeserved Grace
Is what we’ve been shown
Through vast deserts, scorching heat
Your own shade you did provide
You parted seas, came down in glory
On that magnificent Mount Sinai
It would have been enough to take us to the altar every single day
A dove, a lamb, a sacrifice we would have to slay
In hopes of there you looking down and forgiving us for that day
But instead praise God You had a plan, You said
“Oh there’s a better way”
This would have been enough but not for
The Truth, The Life, The Way
For our God revealed in loving kindness
His redemptive plan one glorious day
The day that God-made man in a horse trough was lain
The One who came to earth, the sinless spotless Lamb
Was born… to soon be slain
That would not have been enough, you said
For My purpose and plan I must fulfill
That’s why to have you by my side again
My Son will walk that hill
The Lamb was slain, the blood was spilt
And now one day you’ll see
The life you were created for
In My presence and glory
Now trust me child when I say
This story still unfolds
Tis not the end while here on earth
There’s glory yet to behold
But until my face you see one day
When you will worship and adore
Know that mud pies in the sand
Is not what you were created for
While on this earth ‘till I return (between the trees)
Endless enticements are all around
Know my child with eyes fixed on me
There my blessing will abound
Don’t start with here; Don’t start with now
For this land is not your home
The land, the life you are destined for
My child you will soon know
And until that day when faith is sight
Keep your eyes turned to the cross
Knowing earthly idols fades away
To soon become just loss
My precious daughter, heir to the King
In Me your calling stands
For nothing earth may bring your way
Will ever unfoil my holy plans
This is a poem God spoke to me as I was journaling these thoughts. On the faithfulness & grace of an awesome God....
It would have been enough to let us go our way
To shake your holy hands in sorrow & dismay
“I had so much in store for you,
Such blessings yet to unfold.
But now that you have chosen sin
My blessings I’ll withhold.”
It would have been enough
To leave us wandering on our own
But instead Undeserved Grace
Is what we’ve been shown
Through vast deserts, scorching heat
Your own shade you did provide
You parted seas, came down in glory
On that magnificent Mount Sinai
It would have been enough to take us to the altar every single day
A dove, a lamb, a sacrifice we would have to slay
In hopes of there you looking down and forgiving us for that day
But instead praise God You had a plan, You said
“Oh there’s a better way”
This would have been enough but not for
The Truth, The Life, The Way
For our God revealed in loving kindness
His redemptive plan one glorious day
The day that God-made man in a horse trough was lain
The One who came to earth, the sinless spotless Lamb
Was born… to soon be slain
That would not have been enough, you said
For My purpose and plan I must fulfill
That’s why to have you by my side again
My Son will walk that hill
The Lamb was slain, the blood was spilt
And now one day you’ll see
The life you were created for
In My presence and glory
Now trust me child when I say
This story still unfolds
Tis not the end while here on earth
There’s glory yet to behold
But until my face you see one day
When you will worship and adore
Know that mud pies in the sand
Is not what you were created for
While on this earth ‘till I return (between the trees)
Endless enticements are all around
Know my child with eyes fixed on me
There my blessing will abound
Don’t start with here; Don’t start with now
For this land is not your home
The land, the life you are destined for
My child you will soon know
And until that day when faith is sight
Keep your eyes turned to the cross
Knowing earthly idols fades away
To soon become just loss
My precious daughter, heir to the King
In Me your calling stands
For nothing earth may bring your way
Will ever unfoil my holy plans
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